my talks

स्चिजोफ्रेनिया/SCHIZOPHRENIA..2. शून्य मे ताकती वो निगाहें खामोशी मे डूबी हर सांस हर बीतते क्षण के साथ कम होती धडकनों की रफ़्तार .. सुनामी के बाद थके हुए प्रशांत के समान | न कोई साथी न सम्बन्ध तमस से भरा हर सवेरा रोती बिलखती उम्मीदें और छिनता आसमान | न कोई इच्छा न अपेक्षा न संवाद न बात सत्य से कोसों परे स्वप्नों की दुनिया.. और अपरिचित आवाजों का शोर.. हर वक़्त बस उस... काल्पनिक भय मे जीना रोना..चीखना चिल्लाना फिर शांत होना.. मौत भी डरकर शायद न आये.. इतनी बदतर ज़िन्दगी.... किलासती बिलखती यही कहती ख़तम कर दो मुझे.... बेवजह के संशय .. अप्रत्याशित डर से सहमी आंखें भ्रमित विचारधारा परछाइयों और सायों से घिरा वो शख्स... हर पल मानो कोसता हो अपने जिंदा वजूद को.. ये दशा है एक विखण्डित मानसिकता* के रोगी की... जिसका अस्तित्व हर पल प्रतीक्षारत है... मौत से आलिंगन को | *विखण्डित मानसिकता = SCHIZOIPHRENIA..... *mridula May 24

SHE IS......... sometimes she is as voilent as volcano... sometimes calm as post storm sea.. sometimes behaves..as insane, incapable.inactive and sometimes as active as.. a printing machine... she is quiet and frozen.. gazing constantly in vacant space... talking to invisible shadows and hearing never said voices... she lives in world of dreams working under hallucinations... and following delusions. no connection to reality.. all what is present is nonsense.. according to her senses.. death can be less miserable she might think... as she is stranger to herself.. lacking memories.. and emotions... as cold as ice..feeling less, of course she is still alive.. just as fossil.. kept in observation... she is ..alone.. called to be abnormal.. n left aside by all.. you know why? because she is....SCHIZOPHRENIC!!!!!!!! mridula 24th may 09

Sweet. . Sweet,was the name You gave to me, All those talks,those jokes, Giggles, abuses. All that stupidity, Is still remembered by me, What all you asked, All I answered, All things we did is, Still remembered by me, You want me to keep talking,on and on Till we are awake, And your words,were never left Undone by me, You have got answer to Each idiotic question I can ever ask, And you can understand the least thing, Left unsaid by me, You got all the richest emotional asset I always needed, all ur..words are still remembered by me, Sweet, was the name you gave to me, that’s all asset own by me, this name which belong to me is your least physical rememberance possessed by me never I touched you, but you were always felt by me, never I saw in your eyes, but all the sobness and wetness of tears, can be felt by me…, you never saw me face to face still you can see my expression just by hearing me, Sweet, was the name you gave to me Many things. I left. Intentionally Unsaid……because, I kn