my talks

aggression!!! aaj har sach..aaine sa saaf hai mai tere liye gair hun.. or tu mera sirmor hai jaa tuje...bhul jaane ki kasam..hai k kabhi laut ke na ana is dil ka har darwaaza tere liye..aaj se band hai.. nafrat hai tere naam se bhi muje.. tu khush rahe mere bina..yahi dua hai.. jaa tuje meri maut..ki saza bhi maaf hai..[17-08-08

FIRST MEETING... na geheno se na kaajal se na haar se na singaar se.. sajni sajegi sirf saajan ki preet se….. na naini mai kajra hoga.. na kalaai mai kangana.. na hina na laali.. na gajra..na paraandi… na pajeb na baali.. sirf priyatam ke rang mai rangi.. vo miluegi unse.. unka khwaab bankar.. aankhon mai chamkega sirf unka aks.. kangn banegi anguliyaan.. greeva sajegi saajan ki baahon k haar se… khankati hansi chankegi pajeb se… har singaar saajan ki preet se hoga.. mukh pe darp hoga.. chaal mai dambhh hoga.. jab hogi pratam bhent sajni ki saajan se…... rashq hoga jahan ko ishq nikhrega yun.. irshiya se bhar uthega asmaan.. kuch yun chalkega… prem sajni ke yaouwan roop se… nikhar uthega tan.. bhar uthega mann chalak uthegi roop ki gaagar jab hogi prahtam bhent saajan ki sajni se…… yaadgaar hoga vo pal.. jab sitaaron ki gawaahi mai.. chaand ki roshni mai mridu komal ehsaason ko. Lagaye hue seene se.. Ghat ti badhti dhadkano ko Thaame.. Milegi sajni apne saajan se…[23-7-09]

ASHK..... . kal raat .... jab tumhari yaad.. aayi to adhron par muskaan or aankhon mai ashkon ne.. saath dastak di.. us aansu ko maine.. apni hatheli mai samet kar.. baadlo se iltizaa ki.. mere dil ka haal meri jaan tak .. pahucha do.. badal ko bhi baarish se mohabbat hai .. to vo smjah gaya mera dard.. or maan gaya meri baat… aaj raat... baadal jab tumhare aangan mai barsenge to tum dekhna zarur apni khidki se choona lena har boond ko…..apni hatheli se jab vo tumhare paas aaye.. to us.. paani ke moti ko apne adhron par jagah dena or ek muskaan ke saath.. mere har ashk ka sila dena. Jul 29, 2009

THAT NIGHT!!! I know you are somewhere around.. Why! But your touch is not found? In spite of being in crowd.. Why! Only loneliness surround..? BUT! that night Without lights.. When I was sitting opposite to mirror, Eyes closed, trying to feel you near… I suddenly sensed your grip around my waist And your breath kissing my shoulder.. WHAT! I told myself was -“I’m a fool,and it’s just your image, Once more illusioned. The dream will be broken As the eyes will be opened.” BUT! What I heard was you Saying-“I’m here.. Open your eyes dear”. Filled with fear I saw the mirror, And YES! I found you there. THEN! We danced! we kissed! We jumped! We fought! We laughed! we cheered! We shouted! we lived! And bumped into the couch, As we got tired..! BIRDS! Chirped…, sunlight was there.. I moved my hand to get yours.. BUT! What I found was.. Your BLAZER!! Which I remember.. I took up last night... While closing the cupboard..!!!! AND! I realized.. Once more … That dreams are only dreams..

why me!!!! ये मेरे साथ ही क्यूँ होता है ! जब जिस राह ख़ुशी मिले.. ग़म का घर अगले मोड़ पर होता है... वो शख्स जो एक पल को लगे अपना.. अगले ही पल अजनबी होता है...l जब भी करना चाहूँ भरोसा... तकदीर की नीयत से डर लगता है.. क्यूंकि हर बार विश्वास का .. अंजाम ऐ ज़िन्दगी अश्क ही होता है...l छोटी हो या बड़ी...ख़ुशी जब भी मिली.. एक अधूरी मुस्कान के साथ.. पूरा हो जाये मेरा कोई अरमान.. शायद ही ऐसा कभी होता है l जिसने भी किया वादा मुझसे निभा न पाया उसे.. कभी हालातों कभी तकदीर का खेल मेरे साथ ही होता है.. जब जिस राह ख़ुशी मिले ग़म का घर अगले मोड़ पर होता है...l दामन यूँ तो बेदाग़ नहीं मेरा भी मगर.. औरों की सज़ा का हक़दार भी मेरा ही वजूद होता है l करके वादा न तोड़ा कभी.. न की कभी बेवफाई... क्यूँ किसी और की ग़लतफ़हमी का शिकार.. मेरा प्यार होता है..l हद हो चुकी अब तो सब्र ऐ ज़िन्दगी की बख्श मुझे,अब और ज़ब्त नहीं... न दे सकी तू कोई सच्चा साथी तो इतना रहम कर.. हर उम्मीद से मुझे रुसवा कर.. इस जिस्म की कैद से आजाद कर दे...... की बस एक लाश ही तो है जिसे न दर्द होता है न ख़ुशी की आरजू.. न जिंदा रहने

Why people keep coming back! Why people keep coming back! Please! I am begging Stop hurting me I can’t take this pain any more, What the hell you ,people think Of me , What am i… A bus stand,a hotel,waiting room Or House on rent… Please!i am not a non living Temporary place of residence, I am a warm blooded human being With flesh and bones …with beats And breathing… And it really hurts when.. People I love treat me..like A farm house which They can visit once in a vacation. I’m not someone’s personal property .got dammit! I’m a person with feelings and emotions.. And my eyes do bleed.. When the dagger of negligence is.. Hit deeply.. Yes! I don’t want you people to keep coming back. Decide it in one stance.. Either love me or leave me.. No need to bear me….when You don’t want me. Please!this isn’t a five star hotel Owned by someone’s dad! In which one can check in on a Saturday and check out on Monday. This is my LIFE! got dammit! And..you have only one choice.. Leave me

us shayar ka "unkaha" kalaam kya waqt aaya hai, aaj shayar ki kalam bhi chup hai, ashk to hain, magar lafz nahi hai, kora hai har kaaghaz.. khaali hai har kona.., magar fir bhi sannata nahi hai, shor bahut hai magar log nahi hai.., zakhm bahut hain magar,dard nahi hai. utaari thi mohabbat lafzon se kaghaz par kabhi usne, aaj vohi nazme chidhati hai use. soonapan hansta hai uspar. andhera mazaak udadata hai.. jaagti raatein daraati hain.. kaante mai phool dhoondha tha kabhi usne, aaj wahi apni aukaat bata raha hai.., afsana kya tha uska kaun jaane, magar aaj vo apne aakhiri kalaam par hai.., chubti yaadon ke kaaghaz pe, bebasi ki kalam se vo apni kahani likh raha hai.. "khwaab sa khoobsurat vo rishta tha, hawa se halka har lamha tha, saawan ki taran barsati khushiyan thi, har mausam gulzaar tha, fir ek zalzala aaya...aur khwab toota.. uska ho gaya sahuk poora.. haath mai leke haath, bahut shiddat se bola- "aur mai ab tera nahi, bas zindagi mai meri tu aur

kya chahu main na jaane kya chahu main, koi jo sachha ho.. koi jo achha ho.. par hain kaun vo na jaanu mai.. kabhi is sapne ke peeche bhaagu, kabhi us khwab ko paana chahu, kabhi sabse door kahin chup jaana chahu.. kabhi khushi ki dhaar fut padti hai, kabhi udaasi achanak gher leti hai, kabhi titli saman udta hai mann. kabhi pinjre mai band parinde sa fadfadata hai, kabhi ujalon se khayal mehkte hain.. kabhi makdi ke jaalon se ulajhte jaate hain, jaane kya chahu mai jaane kya maangu mai, jo hai vo bhi chahu, jo nahi hai vo bhi pana hai, jaate hue kal se.. kuch muskurahte chura loon... sahej loon unhe aane wale pal ke vaste kabhi uchak kar aasman choona chahun kabhi saayon se darr ke,kono mai dubak jaun... man -mastishk dono mai dwand hai... khoj loon kitna bhi par fir bhi na jaanu ki kya chahun mai.. kya kya na kar jaaun.. kis kis se na ladd jaun .. bas koi jo mujhe bata de.. ki kya chahun mai. -mridula 22-6-2011

yaaron dosti.... Baarsih mai khelna , Paani mai koodna.. Ek chaate ke neeche chaar dost..or.. Sab ka bheegna… Gaaliyon mai bolna.. Har baat pe chillana.. Roothna ..manana.. Nakhre dikhana.. Or khoob bhaav khana… Fir dost ka kehna”bas kar yaar!” Or ek saath thahake lagana. Doston ki har baat sun na.. Or har baat kaatna.. Baat-baat par tokna.. “oye paagal hai kya” fir use chidhana. Kabhi dena,kabhi cheen lena, Kabhi churana,kabhi lautana, Udhari ka bahi-khaata bhi ajeeb tha Kisne diya,kisne liya .. Kaun jaane.. Fikr bas itni ki poore group ko to mil gaya na!... Alharpan mai vo naino ka chaar hona.. Pehli pehli baar dil ka tootna.. Fir dost kehta”maine to mana kiya hi tha!” Fir khil khila k hasna.. Or naya chakkar chalana. Har subah nayi thi.. Har sham mastani. Na future ki thi fikar. Na past ki koi tension. College ho ya sadak, Kisko padta tha farak, Har jagah bas raaj tha apna, Lecture bunk karna, Fime dekhna , Jeb main na ho rupyaa ek. Fir bhi vodka k shot lagana, Ek bike par k